manicbotanic:

I, for one, welcome our future Indian-Chinese lesbian cyborg president.


A much more comforting option than Tony Abbott. SE Asian robo-lesbian for PM!

manicbotanic:

I, for one, welcome our future Indian-Chinese lesbian cyborg president.

A much more comforting option than Tony Abbott. SE Asian robo-lesbian for PM!

(via jjncotaku)

hairychubbygirls asked: Do you prefer circumcised or uncircumcised penises?

Hello Mr Hairychubbygirls (if indeed that is your real name),

The kind of penis I prefer is always the one attached to the man with whom  I am currently enjoying having sex. Foreskin or lack of it has no bearing whatsoever on a man’s attractiveness. That would be silly. The only things I care about are 1) is it clean? 2) is it attached to a smart, funny, sexy man who makes me weak at the knees? 

sagaston asked: Whaaaat? Why would you ever be dismissive of some guy with his dick for his profile picture and a tumblr full of nothing but porn? (Also, Dick Profile Picture takes the Unsolicited Dick Pic to a whole other level.)

I know, right? It is possible that even talking penises can be sincerely curious about my welfare. Maybe I should have gone into excruciating minutiae about my day. I am a terrible person.

matt892011 asked: Hey how r u?

pretty good, actually. thanks for asking. I would go into more details but I suspect you don’t really want to know, as all I am to you is a lady wearing small pink underpants. 

If only everyone would boycott that creep.

(Source: rumour, via honey-andtar)

slaughterhouse-ninetwofive:

albinwonderland:

ediebrit:

oh my fucking god

huge fucking trigger warning but oh my god

shots. fucking. fired.

(via honey-andtar)

I found a ridiculously small pair of panties in the drawer. 

I found a ridiculously small pair of panties in the drawer. 

thefallingtower:

kids0ftheblackhole:

good

wow okay.

LOLOLOLOL

two things:

1) I can’t wait to see my lover on Friday, push him aggressively down into a chair, unbutton his fly, and take him without mercy, after which he will take control of me, grab me by a handful of my hair, and play me like a goddamn musical instrument (not sure what kind: bassoon? violin? banjo? theramin? whatever, this is an instrument that makes uncontrollable breathy girlish mewling sounds. maybe we should compete on Australia’s Got Talent)

2) remember that time when I was told to keep my “slightly overweight body” off the internet? well it’s baaaaack. I feel like a goddess in my new Honey Birdette lingerie and I ate Mexican chocolate cake for breakfast. I can only hope that person is 1/20th as sexually fulfilled as I am at the moment, and being kinder to themselves and others. good sex makes the world a better place.

citrustree:

This is for my wife, the inimitable GV. Happy B-Day! Love you.

Oh my goodness, dearest wife, what a Handsome little budgerigar :-) thank you so much. <333 In other news: today feels like a day for taking shots of my new lingerie. I want to test it on you guys before my lover gets his hands all over it on Friday. Mmmm.

citrustree:

This is for my wife, the inimitable GV. Happy B-Day! Love you.

Oh my goodness, dearest wife, what a Handsome little budgerigar :-) thank you so much. <333 In other news: today feels like a day for taking shots of my new lingerie. I want to test it on you guys before my lover gets his hands all over it on Friday. Mmmm.

earthwanker:

Do you ever hear someone’s voice and kinda wanna fuck it

yeah. when I hear such a voice I wanna fuck it and lick its balls. and then maybe order room service and build a little fort with it.

(Source: earthwanker, via curvedandaskew)

Awwww you guys know how to lift a girl’s spirits. Kisses and playful bum swats to you all. Will reply to you all individually when not on iPhone :-)

perfectlyscrumptious asked: Happy birthday, you sweet, gorgeous, snarky, fierce and entirely admirable woman. <3

Thank you, my wonderful friend.

crayonguy:

Bunny master post

It’s my birthday and I feel a bit sad this evening so I’m gonna post bunnies because bunnies make me feel good.

(via limerentgeek)